Drugs or Jesus
So lately I've decided I need to expand my music horizons. Friends and neighbors that I usually consider to have good musical taste are into country music. I've always loved Garth, and I went through that "I love sappy songs about people dying and living life" phase that every senior at JCA goes through after Kairos, which made me enjoy a lot of Tim McGraw. I've always had a weakness for "I Hope You Dance" and others of its type. I've also heard some recent country songs on 99.9 that I've liked, including Tim McGraw's "Skydiving" and some Keith Urban song about taking your cat and leaving your sweater, so I decided to try listening to country radio for a few days. Overall this hasn't been a bad decision, WCCQ plays a lot of older songs that I know and I've heard some good newer ones on US99 (one song that I really like I found out is sung by American Idol loser Josh Gracin. Argh.). However, last night I heard the worst country song ever: "Drugs or Jesus" by Tim McGraw. The hell? Tim, how the mighty have fallen. "Don't Take the Girl" was awesome, and then you sing "Drugs or Jesus?" I wasn't even aware that it was that clear cut of a decision.
In other news, Sheer Secrets, the lingerie shop on Route 30, has a sign out front on which someone PROPOSED to his girlfriend. Romantic, eh? I wonder if they met at the shop. . . "When our hands met over the crotchless panties, I knew it was love."
posted by DaGoose @ 4:07 PM
14 Comments:
Ok, I nearly choked to death on my water when I read "When our hands met over the crotchless panties ..." Anyway, I wonder who this newly betrothed "Tracey" is. I think we need to do some detective work.
"Live like you were dying" Not "skydiving"
Thanks! I always think of it as the skydiving song.
I think of it at the "Bull named "fu-man-chu" song!
If you think "Drugs or Jesus" is bad, you should hear "I Miss Back When" - you would think the guy singing it is 75, nope, just 30 something Tim reminiscing about when crack is what you were doing when you were cracking jokes. Country music is good for clever wordplay, my recent favorite is "My Give a Dam is Busted" by Jodee Messina.
I heard an AWESOME one today, it's probably old but I wouldn't know. The chorus began, "The drinking bone's connected to the party bone. . ."
I LOVE (read: hate, but love to laugh at) "I Miss Back When" ("Crack was what you were doin' when you were crackin' jokes!"). My favorite country song is one that has a lyric that goes (something to this effect): "I got rice cookin' in the microwave ..." That song reinforces my belief that country musicians will write songs about anything. Anything at all.
I got rice cookin in the microwave, a three day beard I don't plan to shave... Go figure, now Travis Tritt sings more politically driven songs. Pointless lyrics are not limited to country music, System of a Down and Britney Spears both sing about putting on makeup.
How sad is it that I know exactly what songs you're talking about regarding makeup, Britney's "Lucky" and System of a Down's "Chop Suey." Yeah, sucky lyrics are everywhere. One of my favorite examples is an otherwise good Justin Timberlake song that has the line "You're out of this world except you're not green." Anyway, that "Back When" song? I looked up the lyrics and they are hilarious. I'll put them up in a new post later today.
http://www.hit-country-music-lyrics.com/index.html
An entire site to prove that they can write country music about anything.
You cannot even discuss unintentionally hilarious country lyrics without bringing up Toby Keith - look up "I Wanna Talk About Me" or "Beer For My Horses".
I like "I Wanna Talk About Me," I don't know if I've heard "Beer for My Horses" but the lyrics are hilarious. On the topic of unintentional hilarity, I came across a Toby Keith song called "Huckleberry" that was super duper cheesy. I've also always enjoyed David Allen Coe's "You Never Even Called Me By My Name."
And who can forget the ever-popular sing-a-long "Prop me up beside the jukebox"
I enjoy "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy."
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