Officer Jim, I hope you're happy

I know, I know it's been forever. I can't promise any more updates until post-October 26, that's the date of the big event I'm working on downtown and after that I should have a bit more down time since things won't be so hectic. Yes, that might have been a run-on sentence, but oh well. I'm hoping to do a play by play retelling of Megan's upcoming Halloween party on this here website, skanktastic behavior is sure to ensue. In other news, according to the Herald News, people can get beat up with birdfeeders, and complaining to the police about the fact that your son was forced to be photographed while wearing pantyhose on a school retreat is grounds for expulsion from a parish, but only the South Land knows for sure. A brief update from Saturday night's Naperville adventure: A flock of seagulls was spotted at Features, Nancy is NOT named Frances or Kitty, and being 100% Greek does not equal having seen My Big Fat Greek Wedding, at least according to braces-wearing Andy from Cary, IL. I will share more stories soon, and eventually I will finish the Ohio story, as everyone needs to learn about the mystery of cold cuts. A final question: what the hell is that Midwest Mafia place on Jefferson, and how do I join? Anyone with details, please let me know.