Breathe

Song on the radio=the above by Melissa Ethridge. In the immortal words of my cousin Dave, "Melissa, quit your whining." Overall, I am not a fan of chick rock. I have only recently become able to tolerate Sheryl Crow.

So I thought I'd do a brief update on last night before I forget everything as usual. Kudos (but not a real Kudos bar, if I had one I'd eat it) to All Around winner in gymnastics Carly Patterson. Besides the artistry, of course, half the fun of watching gymnastics is noting the girls' woeful mistakes in hair and makeup. With all the glitter those girls wear, my mom wondered if they have endorsements lined up with Claire's. My co-worker informed me that while she was watching Carly Patterson stand on the podium and receive her medal, all she could think was, "I bet Emily's making fun of her eyebrows right now." Alas, I was at the bar during Carly's coronation, but that thought had definitely been running through my head earlier in the evening. She's a cute girl and an awesome gymnast, but on a more superficial note, her eyebrows look like commas! Go easy on the tweezers, Carly.

So last night was another Heroes night, and overall a good time. Though my odd interactions were limited to avoiding the giant beam of a man who reminded us of a leprechaun, and having my hand grabbed (as though he was going to pass me a note) by an unknown passerby, special correspondent Guy Whose Name I Can't Remember (aka G.W.N.I.C.R) was on the case throughout the evening, informing me of Whiskey Tango news bites that might previously have gone unnoticed. First, there was a sighting of the Mother of all Swollies, as worn by an inebriated acquaintance of Mike and Brian. I was more concerned with the fact that he had materialized out of nowhere than his apparel, so I'm glad the swolly was noted. There was also the spotting of a guy, who, apparently attempting to make himself look more "swoll," was wearing the world's tiniest yellow polo shirt that appeared to have been purchased at abercrombie (lower case abercrombie=kids version of Abercrombie and Fitch. I learned this the hard way when I walked in to abercrombie to buy jeans and was concerned when the pants looked like they would fit an American Girl doll). Perhaps since he was skimping on clothes, "Banana Joe" decided to compensate by putting an entire bottle of gel in his hair. Also noted by G.W.N.I.C.R. was a beer garden brawl that occurred while I was inside. Apparently a bean bag game was interrupted when someone kicked one of the wooden base things (note: check out this H-N column about bags. Who knew that people called it cornhole?). The fight was confirmed by Heroes employee Beer Garden Bouncer (I don't know his name, but thanks for the inf0!), who had his shirt torn in the struggle. While no bags were hurled at anyone's heads, beer bottles apparently were instead. In DJ news, music was overall pretty good, the game for the night involved couples switching shirts (must we always be kinky, Eddie C/Z?), and it was announced that next week will be Hollywood Jim's last night. They've been saying that for a month, so as in the case of promised opening dates for downtown Joliet's Sapphire Club, I'm not counting any chickens. That's all for now.