Don't Take the Girl

Still on the country kick, of course. I managed to hear "Don't Take the Girl" not once, but twice yesterday. I was happy, as it's one of my favorites, but two burning questions about this song: 1. Do people usually get held up in movie theaters by strangers that come and pull a gun? I'm amusing this song is set in the South somewhere, not Compton. 2. Does she die at the end? I'd like to believe that the God of "Don't Take the Girl" is a benevolent God and lets them both live, but Tim McGraw could be one sick son of a gun. If Tim and I ever sit down for a cup of Joe, I will ask him these burning questions, along with what the hell is up with "Indian Outlaw." I heard it for the first time today, and. . .no. Also on the Tim tip: thanks to reader "Dirty Rog" for hooking me up with an mp3 of "Way Back When." I haven't had a chance to listen to it yet, but I can't wait. Also recently heard on the country stations:
1. A Clint Black remake of "Desperado." This song always reminds me of JCA masses and the episode of Seinfeld where "Desperado" is Elaine's boyfriend's song, and she wants their song to be "Witchy (Witchay) Woman."
2. "If Heaven" by Andy Griggs contains one of the nastiest lines ever: "If heaven was a pie it would be cherry/Cool and sweet and heavy on your tongue/And just one bite would satisfy your hunger/And there always be enough for everyone."
3. "Ten Rounds with Jose Cuervo" by Tracy Byrd is fabulous. Between that one, "Drinkin' Bone" and "Watermelon Crawl" (also sung with my pal Jack the other day), Tracy Byrd is awesome.
4. I LOVE Neal McCoy's "The Shake." Apparently I need to get my ass to a country bar to dance to this one.

It seems that most of country music subscribes to five themes. Theme one: romance, love, relationships, etc. Two: How awesome the singer's town is. Three: church and Sundays. Four: Drinking. Five: Back when. It's hilarious.

Ok, on to other topics so I don't alienate the non-country music lovers. So last night a bunch of us went to Sapphire, as we heard they have ladies'nights on Thursdays with no cover and $3 drinks. Things seemed odd at first when we pulled up and noticed no valets were working, and we were right: I would not call it "Ladies' Night," I would call it "No One's Night," as the place was deserted. Eventually more people came, and we still had an awesome time, but we were confused. Thursday is a huge bar night, Sapphire is packed on weekends (when they have cover and regular priced drinks), and they have no cover and $3 martinis on Thursdays. This does not compute. Apparently I need to start putting up fliers around town to attract crowds. In recent months I've rarely gone out on Thursdays, yet every time I do, there isn't much of a crowd. It must be the "Dead till St. Patrick's Day" deal that bartender Brad of Jameson's/Sapphire fame told us about. Anyway, we got to sit in a booth, so I got to feel Lindsay Lohan VIP (but not VIP enough to go upstairs, apparently they're too busy putting in beds up there to let people in). The music was great, and we danced a lot. Melanie was approached by a Bill Cosby lookalike on the dancefloor, but she didn't want any pudding pops. We also tried to solve the mystery of an Anthony Fedorov lookalike who had some odd glasses on. We couldn't tell if they were regulation spectacles or some Elton John specials put on purely for show. Anyway, a good night, hopefully they get more people on Thursdays soon. I think that's about it for now, enjoy your weekends everyone, and for more entertainment, check out the debate in the comments under the last post about what celebrities personify our local bars!

A quick note: Reader "Jack's mom" clued me in to another song with entertaining lyrics, LeAnn Rimes' "Nothin' Bout Love Makes Sense." Among the highlights: "Nothin' bout love can make an equation nothin' short of amazing," (I love math in song, and Shannon, it reminds me of the Ireland version of "Rock Your Body"), and "Like the lights of Las Vegas going out on the sand, a jumbo shrimp or a baby grand." Mmmm shrimp. I'm glad it's Friday. Adios!!!!