Gone Country
I think I've set Whiskey Tango comment posting records with my latest post. Little did I know that talking about country music would spark so much discussion! I've been continuing listening to 98.3 and 99.5, and it's just way too entertaining. I was lucky enough to hear "Drugs or Jesus" again yesterday (my other favorite part is "Everybody just wants to get high, sit and watch a perfect world go by"), have had the chance to "enjoy" Craig Morgan's "That's What I Love About Sunday" a couple times (that one is just awful), and learned that former child country singer Billy Gilman (who used to scare the crap out of Shannon and I)is apparently soon to be 17, experienced musical difficulty when his voice changed, and has a new album coming out soon. I was also very excited to get to hear Rascal Flatts' "Mayberry" yesterday; my good buddy and former Herald News "G-Rated" reviewer Jack got me hooked on that one. However, all these discoveries pale in comparison to the knowledge bestowed upon me by one of my Whiskey Tango readers: the existence of Tim McGraw's song "Back When." I have yet to hear this song, and it's not on ITunes unfortunately, but the lyrics are amazing. Highlights are in bold:
Don't you remember
The fizz in a pepper
Peanuts in a bottle
At ten, two and four
A fried bologna sandwich
With mayo and tomato
Sittin' round the table
Don't happen much anymore
We got too complicated
It's all way over-rated
I like the old and out-dated
Way of life
Chorus:
Back when a hoe was a hoe
Coke was a coke
And crack's what you were doing
When you were cracking jokes
Back when a screw was a screw
The wind was all that blew
And when you said I'm down with that
Well it meant you had the flu
I miss back when
I miss back when
I miss back when
I love my records
Black, shiny vinyl
Clicks and pops
And white noise
Man they sounded fine
I had my favorite stations
The ones that played them all
Country, soul and rock-and-roll
What happened to those times?
I'm readin' Street Slang For Dummies
Cause they put pop in my country
I want more for my money
The way it was back then
Repeat Chorus
Give me a flat top for strumming
I want the whole world to be humming
Just keep it coming
The way it was back then
Repeat Chorus
I can't say that I remember peanuts in a bottle OR the fried bologna sandwiches (there are few things nastier than bologna), but dude, this song is hilarious. Can someone tell me if it's a fast song or a ballad? I need to be prepared for when it comes on the radio.
In other country news, why do I hardly ever hear any Garth on the radio? I heard "The Thunder Rolls" yesterday, but that's about it. Is it because he cheated on his wife with Trisha Yearwood, or payback for the whole Chris Gaines incident? I was listening to Garth's greatest hits album a few weeks ago, and apparently I'd never listened to the lyrics to "That Summer" too closely before, because it's NASTY. The scenario: a teenage boy goes to work for a horny widow and they get it on. This one's almost as bad as "Young Girl"! Some highlights: "When I told her that I'd never,
she softly whispered, 'That's all right.' And then I watched her hands of leather
Turn to velvet in a touch." However, the most horrible part is a line from the chorus: "She had a need to feel the thunder!" Dude, aren't you being a bit presumptous about your sex skills and/or size?
Anyway, that's all my country news for today. However, I was checking the statistics for how people found my website, and I found some amusing things. Apparently there's a link to my website on a webpage about Ghetto Booty contests, and I also found that someone found my website doing a search for "beansnappers." I did a search for "beansnappers" and it led to me a list of some porn sites. What the hell is a beansnapper? I looked to see why I had written about "Beansnappers," and apparently way back in the day I had referenced some club with that name in Milwaukee where America's Loverboys had performed. Who knew? As usual, more news later!
posted by DaGoose @ 2:09 PM
38 Comments:
"Back When" is neither a ballad nor a fast song, it is kind of in the middle - very nasally and whiney, the guitars go kind of fast but the words are sung slow... The funniest part of it is that the guy is in his mid-thirties and says stuff my grandfather does not say - plus, the same time that song was on the radio declaring someone "put pop in his country" he was singing a duet with Nelly. I would recommend everything by Rascal Flatts, the entire "Feels Like Today" album is good, there is a hidden song at the end that is awesome... Funny websearches, I was not led to your site in lieu of porn, it was a Glory Days search over two years ago...
I keep hearing good things about Rascal Flatts, my friend Megan really likes them and I like what I've heard so far ("Mayberry" and "Bless the Broken Road"). Of course, I find out that they're like country music's boy band, so it would figure that I like them a lot. Ah, Glory Days. At first I hated it, then I was sad it was gone. At least Jameson's is practically the same thing.
I would say Big & Rich are a little more boybandish, but I can see where Rascal Flatts would qualify as a boy band, what do you expect when one of the guys shows his butt in a video... Listening to Buddy Jewell's "Sweet Southern Comfort" and Kenny Chesney's "Back Where I Come From" while switching some of the lyrics to Joliet references is always fun. Glory Days was the Donna Martin of local bars, it never quite knew what it wanted to be, one night a college bar, the next a skeevy pick-up joint, the next a sports bar, the next a club, the next a restaurant, I could go on and on, the place appealed to everyone and no one at the same time... but will remain in my memory forever, some friends and I took to watching Cub games there in '03, it became a superstition, we were there most every night from mid-August - October, somehow it did not seem so dorky at the time.
Have you heard LeAnn Rimes "Nothin' bout love makes sense"? She actually sings about a circus of fleas and jumbo shrimp!
For some reason my comments are being wacky, so let's hope this shows up. "Anonymous," Glory Days as the Donna Martin of bars may be the funniest thing I've ever heard. I'm thinking Samy's is the Steve Sanders of bars, and Alfa's, the David Silver. Share your thoughts. "Jack's mom," (LOL) I need to look up this Leann Rimes song. Anything with jumbo shrimp has to be incredible.
Alfas as David Silver is sublime - tries so hard but just not a star... and they are most known for being on the radio. I have to say that Samy's is the Adrienne Curry of bars, cute for five minutes, snooty for no apparent reason, and just oozing joliet. Grapevine and Gippers are Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, very similar and tolerable for about five seconds. Bedrocks is Ashlee Simpson, no explanation required. Double J's is the Brandon Walsh, can be hip, can be plain, but always has an understated coolness and is the good pal you can always count on. Sapphire is a Swan contestant, done up on the outside and possessing a attractiveness in relation to its surroundings... Thats all I have for now... What do you think?
WOW. Just wow. I think Double J's (I'd also stick Cemeno's in with that) as Brandon Walsh and Bedrocks as Ashlee Simpson are my favorites. I would say Tuckaway (RIP) was kind of Brenda Walsh: it was a little bitchy and annoying at times, but after it was gone, you missed it. I really wish I could compare a bar to Andrea Zuckerman, but that would be tough. I'm thinking Heroes could be a little bit of Zack Morris: sometimes you get tired of the shenanigans, but ultimately you come back for more fun. McBrody's and Larsen's? Those will take some thought.
Anonymous, you are amazing. I'd say Larsen's is Dylan McKay. A bit rough looking, fun, but dangerous. Literally. I'd have to spend some more time at McBrody's, but for now I'll say it's Nat (of Peach Pit fame).
Tuckaway as Brenda Walsh is awesome, Tuckaway's popularity coincided with a point in my life where I lived outside of the area, so I have never been there, but I love the description. Zack Morris is my favorite television character ever, I think I actually got into a SBTB trivia thing on your tagboard one time, so I would have to say that my favorite bar ever, Higgins Tap at School and Racine would be the Zack for me, but I can follow the Heroes connection... McBrodys IS tough, I am trying to think of a character that is sort of an unknown treasure and am coming up empty. Now that I think of it, Jamesons is more of Swan contestant. Andrea Zucker is Instant Replay, way too old and just kind of there. Down From The Tracks could be The Wallflowers, spawned from good roots, a couple hits, but a disappointing body of work - this one hurts me, not only is the original owner a friend, I take the Metra to work each day... Crabigales?
Crabigale's is most definitely Joey Gladstone (Shannon and I are IMing about this and she said, "Tries to be funny, but isn't," and I concur on Down from the Tracks. I've never been to Instant Replay. . .what about Just One More? Sapphire: Shannon's take: "Kelly, Brenda and Donna when they dressed up as Robert Palmer chicks. Trying too hard to be sexy, but didn't quite cut it." O'Charley's. . .is like the person you hit on when have beer goggles. I can't think of a celebrity personification.
O'Charley's is like Ben Affleck: thinks he's cool (and has street cred), but really pales in comparison to the real deal. I'll put it this way: Ben Affleck is to Matt Damon as O'Charley's is to a real Irish pub.
I have compared O'Chucks to Van Halen, maybe because they are always blaring from the jukebox - but it spans a couple generations, is better when you are drunk, and gives you just enough to come back... as an aside, how come Joliet cannot get Irish Pubs right? Just One More is like Eat A Pita, I always wonder how a place with such a cool name can suck so bad... Just For Fun I would say is like Lindsy Lohan, looks a little sketchy and there is singing...
Who do you think was luckier in their choice of friends, Jason Mewes or Ben Affleck?
Jason Mewes, because Ben might have done OK without Matt or Kevin Smith. He at least had a shot. But Jason Mewes would probably have died of an overdose 10 years ago if it weren't for Kevin Smith giving him a job now and then.
O'CHARLEYS (which i just so happen to LOVE, LOVE, LOVE) = Anna Nicole Smith.
says alot for me..but it is a cool place.
I would agree, at the time it seemed plausible that Ben win an Oscar... At least he is interesting, he won a Best Screenplay Oscar; and I sometimes question whether or not he can read, and often wonder if Ashton Kutcher is reading him scripts. How could the same person befriend Matt Damon and propose to Jennifer Lopez?
Anna Nicole could also be McDuffys, top heavy and not very deep.
Kim, WORD on Anna Nicole Smith, that's hilarious. Shanny, I agree that Jason Mewes needs Kevin Smith to survive (then again, how can he afford all his drug habits. . .is Silent Bob his financier?). Ok, another bar:Bobby's Tap (formerly Bobby's Beer and Stuff). I've only been there once, on a post Kane County Cougars game afternoon jaunt and found the bar scruffy, but surprisingly intellectual (we watched Jeopardy with the regulars). I asked Shannon to encapsulate that feeling, and she came up with Pacey from Dawson's Creek. Niiiice.
I think Ben comes off as really smart and funny (usually) in interviews. I can't reconcile my desire to like him (I feel as though I'd like to be his drinking buddy -- if, of course, he hadn't been in rehab)with the fact that he appeared in a video LITERALLY kissing JLo's ass. Oh, Ben, why do you test my love? My take on him: smart guy, has a lot of potential, but makes insanely stupid choices regarding just about everything.
What about Just for Kicks?
Halftime (romeoville bar...BIG whiskey tango-a-go-go there....)
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
I just deleted the extra copy of your last one, Kim. Let me think. Just for Kicks, is that the place on 30? I can honestly say I've never been there. Once, years ago, my friend Joe and I pulled up, saw some burly truck driver types inside, and headed to Fox and Hound in Aurora. How do I personify that emotion? Perhaps Carrot Top.
yep, that is the one on 30. Used to be Brophy's, for those of you that have been of drinking age a bit longer...Halftime had big burly trucker-types?
Halftime is the Paula Jones of bars.
I heard a certain prominent Romeoville citizen didn't want to wait to use the bathroom at Halftime and simply pissed outside against the wall. I'm just sayin'. So I'm gonna call it Stephen Dorff, since he was in that movie ("The Power of One") where the Afrikaaner children piss on him (or at least a younger version of him) because he's English.
who was it? Prominent? The mayor,perhaps? He has been known to "frequent" the drinking establishments in town.
I'm not sayin' (nods head), I'm just sayin'. Class act.
Funny thing about Halftime is that there was probably a longer line to piss on the wall than there was to use the washroom, at least when you piss on the wall there you are not standing in a puddle of piss.
He also feels the need to kiss me on the cheek everytime he sees me...doesn't matter where i am...bar, jewel...wherever.
dated his son awhile back...nice kid...oh could i just tell you some stories.
Oh Lord, I don't think I want to know. ;)
i am still trying to block it all out...the doctors say that eventually the nightmares will subside.
Hey, what about 30 Buck? Any celebrity comparisons there?
Hey, what about 30 Buck? Any celebrity comparisons there?
Hey, what about 30 Buck? Any celebrity comparisons there?
Wacky server error!! Did not mean to post three 30 Buck questions!I thought I had overcome my stuttering problem!
Wacky server error!! Did not mean to post three 30 Buck questions!I thought I had overcome my stuttering problem!
Wacky server error!! Did not mean to post three 30 Buck questions!I thought I had overcome my stuttering problem!
Wacky server error!! Did not mean to post three 30 Buck questions!I thought I had overcome my stuttering problem!
I've actually, can you believe it, never been to 30 Buck, so I can't make a statement. Any 30 Buck goers care to share?
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