Herald News and Hair of the Dog

While the Herald News' write up of an altercation involving a "slim man" and a "large woman" was somewhat amusing, it seemed like a classic blotter entry was in order again today. Particularly amusing segments will be in bold.


Drug search


JOLIET -- If it were not for a thorough strip search Thursday at the Will County Jail, some contraband may have slipped through the cracks.

Michael E. Parrott, 23, 132 Fairmont, attempted to conceal more than 36 grams of cocaine and cannabis by tucking it into a personal orifice when being booked into the jail, according to police reports.

Parrott was arrested at 9:35 p.m. on charges of manufacturing and delivery of a controlled substance, possession of a controlled substance, delivery of cannabis more than 30 grams, bringing contraband into jail, driving while license suspended and failure to signal.

He was detained during a traffic stop at Illinois 171 and Harvard in Lockport.

Some cocaine was found when the arresting officer did a sweep of Parrott's vehicle, but the initial pat-down did not turn up any more drugs, reports said.

At the jail, during a strip search, police reported finding the clear plastic bag clenched between the arrestee's buttocks.


I think a better headline would have been "Police find crack in a crack," but I'm not a Herald News reporter. In other news, while doing a search online today (this is how I entertain myself at work), I found that a metal band called Hair of the Dog has a song called "Whiskey Tango." I don't think the lyrics could be more appropriate.


WHISKEY TANGO

Monster trucks are throwin' down tonight


I think we'll take the El Camino


And high tail it to the fairground site


We'll leave our women behind




Drunk and scopin' on some teenage action


Kickin' back in our seats


When a hotrod kitty fallin' out of a halter top


Pointed her guns at me



We're in the ladies room, baby's sittin' up on the sink

Gonna grab a little whiskey tango lovin' I think...


Walkin' back by a big 'ol biker


I bumped into his knee


The dude jumped up with a Budweiser bottle


And he swung that shit at me



Here we are gettin' bloody in a big bleacher fight


I'd say it's lookin' like a whiskey tango party tonight...




One... Two... whiskey tango, I love to whiskey tango


Three, four... won't-cha do it some more


One... Two... whiskey tango, I love to whiskey tango


C'mon, now how 'bout you?




Also, if any readers have any Whiskey Tango adventures or observations of their own, please email me. You could have your own guest entry on Whiskey Tango! Please, don't wet yourself from the excitement.