Monday, November 07, 2005

Of Bob Guiney and Blotters

I didn't get a chance last week to post a link to my latest column, so here it is. Enjoy my tales of the Bobster (again, the H-N is doing well with headlines). Updates over the next month may be infrequent due to school and the column but I'll try to do as much as possible.

In the Blotter:

Thwarted shoplifter strikes
JOLIET — A local woman smashed an employee of a Westfield Shoppinngtown Louis Joliet store in the head with her purse after he stopped her from stealing Playboy clothes Sunday evening, police said.*** was arrested on charges of battery and retail theft in connection with the 6 p.m. incident at the Spencer's in the mall.
A 20-year-old store employee reportedly spotted *** stealing two Playboy shirts and a Playboy belt and stepped up to stop the crime.
But police said *** clubbed the employee in the head with her purse.
She was still arrested, police said, and the Playboy merchandise was recovered.
The employee suffered head pain but refused medical attention, police said.

I am assuming this happened at Spencer's. Do any other stores have Playboy gear? Hopefully I don't shop at them.

Man stabbed after intervening in struggle
JOLIET — Chivalry may not be dead, but it landed a Romeoville man in the hospital with stab wounds to his chest and left leg.
The 28-year-old man told police he was driving along South Eastern Avenue about 11:30 p.m. Tuesday when he noticed a man beating up a woman.
The man, who drives a Dodge Stratus, related to police that he sprang from his car and told the woman's assailant, "What are you doing, dog?"
The two men then fell to fighting, according to a police report, and the Romeoville man came out the worse for it, getting knifed in the chest and leg.
He was treated for his injuries at Provena Saint Joseph Medical Center.
No description of the woman in distress or her attacker was provided by police.

I think every knight in shining armor should use the word "dog" when confronting evildoers. I think Lancelot used it often back in the day.

We also have the "Oh My Hose" incident. I don't know what to say about that except that that may be the funniest website name ever. I hope foot loving freaks don't start frequenting my website thanks to the mention.

I want to give Kudos to Common Sense writer Katie Cryder on her awesome column regarding my favorite comfort fashion, the hoodie. A highlight: "As anyone can see, the hoodie was not created with nor is it worn with criminal intent (though its appearance on "Law and Order" is abundant). "

In recent social news, Halloween and my Friday night will be covered in upcoming columns. . .went out to Naperville with Shannon and Melissa on Saturday but nothing too much to write about, except that Rizzo's kind of reminds me of a sauna with its strange light wood walls. Also, I can't get behind that bizarre cropped flared stretch pants (gauchos?) that everyone's wearing these days. I tried a pair on, but much like the poncho of yesteryear, it's a no. That's all I have for now. . .I'll try to update later in the week. Adios!


Blogger Angry Jolietan said...

we still can't see you ssa!!!!

maybe we can see it at a J-town blog summit.

8:07 AM  
Blogger FiveTone said...

Yes, you've talked up your heiny so much, let's see the picture!

BTW, I'm using "Oh My Hose," as my new moniker for astonishment, as in "Check out the swolley on that guy, Oh My Hose!"

10:08 AM  
Blogger DaGoose said...

Innnnnnnnappropriate! What do you think this is, Oh My Hose? I don't know how to get the logo from the column on my website, perhaps I'll figure it out. I too think that "Oh my hose!" is an awesome exclamation.

3:42 PM  
Blogger Angry Jolietan said...

your article today was pretty good.
i wanted to go as Art Schultz but I didn't smoke enough cigarettes.

9:44 AM  
Blogger Shannon said...

Oh no you di-int! When I was in college, as part of a basic reporting class we had to attend a city council meeting and them write stories about it. At the end, Art Schultz told us we could ask him anything we wanted. This one total Whiskey Tango woman, with no sense of irony, says to him, "Why do you talk like that?" Everyone in the room gasped, but AS was cool about it, laughed, and told her why. I was impressed.

6:24 PM  

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