Piano Picnics and Naperville Nights

A quick note: reader Nancy of Joliet informed me that while on her way to Dixon, IL, she passed a sign for a strip club that advertised an upcoming America's Loverboys show on their marquee. Hopefully they won't get into the same kind of trouble they got into at Bedrock's. . .
An interesting article in Saturday's police blotter:

Bicyclist robbed

JOLIET — A man riding his bicycle near New Avenue and Scott Street was robbed at gunpoint Friday afternoon.

The man told police a gray 1986 two-door Cutlass pulled up next to him about 12:30 p.m.

The man in the passenger seat exited the car and brandished a semiautomatic handgun, police said. The man then said to the cyclist, "Give me your (stuff)."

The 21-year-old on the bicycle surrendered a $300 PlayStation II video game, police said. His assailant then plucked $70 cash from his pocket before fleeing.

Gee, what do you think the assailant really said instead of "stuff"? It's a tough question. But what Playstation II game costs $300? When I asked my brother, reader Tom of Joliet, about this, he said they probably meant a Playstation system. Still, how can one carry a Playstation on a bicycle? That must be one pretty bigass basket. Even if he had it in his backpack I'd think it would be hard to balance.

I spent Saturday afternoon in reader Melanie of Joliet's backyard, serving as "games coordinator" for her piano student picnic. At first this just consisted of being "Hammock Cop," keeping the kids off the hammock, then later on we progressed to Duck Duck Goose, Simon Says, water balloons, and polka Musical Chairs. All I have to say is that Duck Duck Goose was never so violent when I was little. When I picked one kid to be goose (but not DaGoose of course), rather than get up and chase me around the circle to tag me, he stayed in his spot, moved his arm back, and whacked me really hard in the arm. I guess I'm lucky we didn't play Red Rover, that would have gotten ugly.

After an afternoon shopping trip and some Simpsons Road Rage playing with my brother, I headed out to Naperville with Nancy, Megan, and Melanie. We started out at Jimmy's, where the outdoor area, though unexciting, was packed. We were lucky enough to be seated near a Tom Petty lookalike (Nancy called that one) that yelled out, "I don't do drugs!" Apparently he'd had his last dance with Mary Jane. After a brief time at Jimmy's, where I saw Melissa and Jake (and a midget), and a stop over at Features to meet up with Melanie again, we headed over to Quigley's to do a shot that Nancy recommended. Alas, they don't serve shots after 11, so we had a Mike's Cranberry Lemonade (much better than Mike's Ice Tea, aka soap) and sat for a bit. After Nancy and Melanie gave advice to a lovelorn woman in the bathroom, we headed out in search of a bar with better shot policies. We decided to spot in at the bar of the Carzz Seafood grill. When we entered, Melanie confirmed the name of the bar with the bouncer and gave him her approval of the place, while Nancy, Megan and I had the long-awaited shot: the Redheaded Slut. It was very good, but we didn't know what was in it, other than peach Schnapps. We asked another bar patron, and he told us it was peach Schnapps and Yeagermeister. I was surprised it was good after hearing that. We soon headed home, but the adventure was not yet over: as we drove by Samy's on the way home, we noticed (actually everyone but me noticed) a man stripping down to his underwear in the parking lot. There were a lot of cars out there, so we weren't sure what was going on. By the time we got to the parking lot, he was clothed again, but we saw men in weird white makeup. Megan noticed a KISS sticker on one of the cars, so we figured out this must have been some kind of KISS cover band changing out of their costumes after their show. Crazy stuff.

Nothing too exciting has happened the last couple days, the smelly ice cream man was back on Sunday, though I stayed far enough from the truck to notice the odor this time. However, I am disturbed by the ice cream man's music. It's typical ice cream truck music, but in between repetitions is a disembodied female voice saying, "Hello?" It's really scary, and the kids on my cul-de-sac (is that how you spell it? Word Man, let me know) do great impressions of it. Today on my lunch break I had an entertaining discussion with Grace, the 3 year old across the street, about the gender of the next door neighbor's lawn care provider (it was a guy, but Grace kept insisting it was a girl). I also saw another great car sticker today, and I forgot to mention the "Calvin pissing on Osama" sticker I saw a weekend or two ago. Today's car, which had a license plate reading, "XRAYTED," had a sticker reading "F@!# Terrorism." Apparently porn-loving X-ray techs like to stand up for our country. Finally, who is Tanya? A reader named "Tanya" (and I don't think it's that ho from the Real World, she spells her name with an "o" anyway) left this comment: what exactly is this "whiskey tango?" I have not heard of it in my country. Tanya, who are you? Are you real? Did you beat up Nancy Kerrigan? Let me know!