(Heroes and) Legends of the Summer

Wake up, wake up, wake up, it's the first of the month. . . Heroes update in un segundo, we got some Herald scoop first. The Herald continues in its tradition of interesting use of quotation marks in a Blotter entry regarding a 65 year old woman who showed a model home to a man that she thought had more than just real estate in mind; the man, who had "big brown eyes"(was he 5'5" with brown eyes and a smile like the sunrise?) apparently "put his face close enough to her face that he would be able to 'kiss her'." Again, why is kiss in quotation marks? Was it an air kiss, or an Eskimo kiss? Another great unsolved mystery of the Herald News. . . In other Joliet news, today's front page news is awesome! Downtown Joliet might be getting an upscale nightclub by November! Plans include a multilevel dancefloor, a bar made of crushed glass (ow! I guess that's opposed to a floor made of crushed glass like your typical night at Samy's or Heroes), and a mezzanine level for members only. Mark my words, I will be a member. I can't tell you how entertained I am by this idea, especially this quote by developer John Bays: It's going to be unbelievable," Bays said. "We're hoping to draw some people from Naperville and Chicago ... I don't think Joliet's had anything like this before." True that, John Bays, true that. I have to say that the thing I don't like about going out in Chicago is that while the bars themselves are awesome, you just don't necessarily get the entertaining people you find in J-town. Perhaps now we'll have the "upscale" setting of a Chicago bar with the local flavor of J-town residents, that sounds like an irresistible combo (speaking of combos, do they still make Combos anymore? They were kind of nasty). And can you imagine the fashion? Considering how people get gussied up for a sportsbar like Heroes, the outfits at "Club J" (as I'm calling it for now) are going to be out of control.

Speaking of out of control fashion, I saw all kinds of styles at Heroes last night. There were lots of softball jerseys, a large group of "Corporate Kevins" in shirts and ties, some mesh tops from the '80's, and some chicks with their Daisy Dukes on. Truly disturbing. The stormy weather brought everyone inside, so it was completely packed, and it was hard to get from one side of the bar to another without seeing a familiar face. Yet another shout out to Legal Larry, hope you enjoyed your evening! I saw my former high school dean, and also saw my "Li'l Sis" from JCA, it makes me feel old that she's able to go to bars now. "Li'l Sis" and her friends coined an interesting phrase for the boxes that you can dance on at Heroes: the "Slut Boxes." Now I beg to differ since my friends and I often frequent the boxes, but some of the girls that go up there definitely put the skank in "skanky" with their grinding, so I can see where the phrase might be appropriate. It was definitely a night of discovery at Heroes as we found out that some of the bar stools have names engraved on the back of them, I don't recall many of the names but one was "Sammy"; maybe he stole the extra "m" from our favorite Mall Loop sportsbar. While sitting in "Sammy"'s seat I struck up a conversation with a bar patron who seemed to have missed the "Say it, don't spray it" etiquette class. As I wanted the news and not the weather, I ventured elsewhere.

An entertaining blast from the past came in the form of a guy who approached me and said he knew me from somewhere. We figured out that we had met at Larsen's last winter, and I recalled that he was Chapstick Boy, the guy who danced with me while applying Chapstick. We had been unable to decipher if the Chapstick was to soothe his lips or to prepare for a kiss, but he had not been seen since. Chapstick boy and I made small talk for a while until sure enough, he brought out the Chapstick, and I quickly had to stifle my laughter. Another strange encounter (yes, this was the night of strange encounters) came on the dance floor near the end of the evening. A guy approached me and smiled as though he knew me, and I looked at him blankly. His response (and I'm pretty sure I heard this right): "Hey asshole, I'm your neighbor!" Again, I looked at him blankly. He asked if my name was Amy. I said no. I asked where he lived. He said Fond Du Lac. Again, no. He agreed that I was not his neighbor, and we parted ways.

After Heroes we had another trip to the Truck Stop. As we left the parking lot the guys in our vehicle were passing around a cigar. Suddenly a random man walked up to the window and asked, "Can I have a hit?" We quickly exited the lot and headed to the Truck Stop, where the kindly yet tough waitress, who had waited on us last week, gave me a special order of a "Potato Hill" after remembering that I had a hard time consuming the whole mountain last week. That's it for now--enjoy el fin de semana!