Friday, November 25, 2005

The Poop Scoop

Yes, I know I haven't updated in eons, these things happen. Once I'm done with my school stuff next week I'll be updating more. Anyway, here's the latest column (note: I have no idea where that picture that accompanies my column in the paper came from, I know I didn't take it and it wasn't even from the mall!)

And here's that blotter that you've all been waiting for:

Police Blotter
JOLIET — A misguided gift-giver got a jump on the Christmas season Saturday night, delivering packages of dog feces to at least two far West Side residences.In one instance, the package was placed on the front porch of a Wesmere Lakes Drive home and set afire, apparently in hopes that the unwitting resident would rush out, stamp on the flames and soil his footwear.
This did not happen, police said, as no one was home when the parcel of dog dirt was deposited. The homeowner reportedly returned to his residence and found the charred bag of dog excrement, as the fire died out before his arrival.
Fortunately for all, the blaze did not spread to the front porch.
Police believe the same fecal felons are responsible for throwing a plastic bag of excrement onto the front porch of a house on Arbor Fields Drive.


Blogger FiveTone said...

I have an alibi.

5:39 PM  
Blogger Shannon said...

Hi. My name is Emily's blog. I am lonely. Update me.

Also, the tagboard is a'scary. Eek.

8:27 PM  

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