Tuesday, July 16, 2002

Ghetto Booty

Hey everyone, again, it's been a while. I won't get a chance to update tomorrow (I'm turning the big 23-I'm sure there'll be stories from that), but I'm going to Wisconsin for the weekend, so I'll probably have some time then to update. Until then, a few quick notes.
A. Ghetto Booty-Melanie got me a sticker that says Ghetto Booty. It made my day
B. Midget Racing-We went to Sean's race at the Grundy County Speedway this weekend. Alas, we didn't stop at the porn store, so there were Furface adventures. However, I did hear the following statement made by an older man to a child in a mohawk: "You were holding my drink, and it tasted like armpit."
C. Grapevine-Melanie, Sean, Sean's friend Jim and I went there after the race. Going there made me realize why I hadn't been there in a while-it's too whiskey tango even for me!! They now have tv screens that show, between karaoke performances, still photographs of people at Grapevine. Not only were we treated to a shot of Jaime Guajardo getting his groove on, but also a shot of some chick flashing the camera who really shouldn't have. Later on the Thong Song played, and a couple girls (who had earlier been talking in the bathroom about some guy being a "hickey monster") decided to drop their pants and show off their purchases from the discount bin at Rave.
D. Best pick up lines of the weekend-Naperville on Friday brought out some good lines. Melanie and Nancy received such classics as "Hey! Weren't you in our math class four years ago?" (to which they responded, "Yeah! Naperville North!") and "I've lost my Melanie." I had a guy telling me, "I'm not from around here. . .I don't know anyone. . .I'm not even from this state," and another approaching me, first addressing me as, "You in the red dress!" and then stating, "If I wore that dress I wouldn't make it look half as good as you do." Closet transvestite or bad attempt at flirting, you make the call. I'll go with the latter, since apparently he and his friends were yelling, "Wanna f*ck?" out the window at us later, so I hear.
E.Calvin, East Coast Style-The rest of the NYC stories will come later, but I'll share one with you. We were walking by NYU and I saw a car with a Calvin pissing on the Chevy symbol sticker. Shocked that this display of Whiskey Tangoness had spread to the East Coast, I immediately took a picture. Suddenly, an African American doorman from a nearby apartment building approached me and asked why I was taking a picture of his license plate. I explained that I was merely taking a picture of his lovely sticker, and he smiled and let me know where I could buy one. So if anyone's in Brooklyn and is in the mood for Calvin pissing, I can tell you where to go.
More details to come!!

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