Thursday, October 13, 2005

Breaking News

So I was out by the mall a bit ago and I noticed something interesting: there's now a sign up for Hooters, apparently it's "coming soon." Location: if you're driving on Essington toward the mall, and you're at the part where you go left or right into the Mall Loop, it's on the left. I also saw a guy taking a picture of the sign, which was a little odd. Someone must be excited. I really wish we could just get a BW3 instead so I could enjoy wings without skanks, but we'll probably get one eventually. Also: I put up links. Enjoy the writings of some local Jolietans and one cool dude in Washington DC.

The Girl Who Cried Column

Ok, I know I keep telling you that my column's going to be in the paper, and it's been pushed back a lot, but the latest word is that it's going to be in next Friday, the 21st. Supposedly promo ads will be starting this weekend. Cross your fingers!

Monday, October 10, 2005

My Fair J-Town

So I hope everyone had a chance to see last night's My Fair Brady, in which Adrianne and Chris made a trip to Joliet. Shots of the prison were plentiful, along with hillbilly ghost town style music. At one point I thought I saw a shot of the "two kids, one bike" variety, a transportation option I find emblematic of Joliet, but further scrutiny led me to see that there were two bikes. The lovely couple stayed at the home of Adrianne's dad. I have no idea where he lives, sadly. The couple first checked out Uncle Richie's in Lockport, a bar that I haven't had the pleasure of visiting. Adrianne referred to it as "one of many biker bars on the outskirts of town." Apparently Lockport equals "the outskirts of town," but the only biker bar I've visited there is Dreams. After Uncle Richie's, they headed to Maurie's Table, which I am very familiar with. Also familiar: a patron of the restaurant that taught a few doors down from my cooperating teacher during my first field experience. Yes, I recognized someone on My Fair Brady, score. Chris Knight lost points with me (if he had any left) for several reasons during this episode: he called Joliet "podunk," he got a rag to wipe down the table at Uncle Richie's, and he chastised Adrianne for carving in the wall at Maurie's. Dude, it's Maurie's. Also, he is a gigantic tool, but we knew that already. Next week: Adrianne, Chris, and Moms go to McBrody's. My friend Diane really hopes we get to see her elbow or something.

In Herald News news, the paper has been quite interesting lately. Someone attempted to rob Billie Limacher, and the "artist's rendering" of the mugger was somewhat horrific. I'll try to scan it and post it on the blog later. We've also dealt with Grand Theft Nacho:

Nacho machine, cash stolen

JOLIET — Prowlers slipped into a Western Avenue restaurant and stole a nacho machine and nearly $1,000 cash overnight Sunday.
The crooks gained entrance to Western Food at 308 Western Ave. through an air vent after 4 p.m. Sunday.
The cash and the nacho machine, which is worth a reported $300, were discovered missing Monday morning, police said.

Hey thieves, that's "not 'cho cheese!" Sorry, couldn't resist. My mom didn't know nacho machines existed, but I explained to her that they're for faux cheese.

Group of men posing as tree trimmers
HOMER TOWNSHIP — Tree trimmers have recently clipped the elderly out of cash and jewels, police said.
The band of three or four men last struck at the home of an elderly couple. They claimed to be government tree trimmers, police said, and while one of them spoke to the residents, the rest ransacked the house.
Police said one of these men is in his 20s, is about 6-feet tall, has an olive complexion and was wearing a baseball cap. A second man looks similar but is in his 60s. The crew reportedly was traveling in a dark-colored sport utility vehicle or pickup truck.
Anyone with information on these tree trimmers is asked to call sheriff's detectives at (815) 727-8574.

Not that good, but I love a good tree pun. It's been a blotter bonanza in the past week, I haven't seen this much material in a long time.

Armed robber leaves empty-handed
JOLIET — An armed bandit failed in his bid to grab the cash from a West Jefferson Street service station but did succeed in heisting about $20 worth of SlimJims and candy.The thug struck shortly before 1 a.m. at the Clark station at 1160 W. Jefferson St. He produced a pistol when demanding the money.
The attendant working ducked into the back office and locked the door without doing as he was told, police said. The crook then picked up a box of SlimJims and Mike-n-Ikes and took off.The box and its contents were found on the pavement on the service station's east side, police said.

Snap into a Slim Jim! I wasn't aware that you can purchase a box of both Slim Jims and Mike-n-Ikes, that doesn't sound like a good flavor combo. No wonder the thief left it in the parking lot.

Man faces gun charge

JOLIET — Cops caught a cat hunter during a Thursday night traffic stop, according to a police report.
An officer who pulled a car over at about 5 p.m. Thursday on Youngs Avenue reportedly spotted a BB gun jammed in the waist band of the front-seat passenger's pants.
The officer reportedly asked the passenger, 19-year-old Luis Bibian
of 513 N. Hebbard St., what he was doing with this BB gun.
Bibian replied "that he uses the gun in the city of Joliet to shoot at cats," police said.
Bibian was arrested on a charge of discharging a toy firearm.

This guy sounds like the Elmer Fudd of cats. I wonder if he ever leaves "the city of Joliet" to prowl on felines.

Six cars vandalized on Abe Street
JOLIET — Vehicular villains wreaked havoc on Abe Street overnight Friday, bashing in the windows of at least six cars and absconding with no less than three car radios.
The crimes were confined to the 600 and 700 blocks of Abe Street, according to police reports. The victimized vehicles were parked both on the street and in driveways

Vehicular villains sounds like something from Transformers. Will Optimus Prime be on the case?

Cement lions found
JOLIET — Crooks bagged a pair of concrete lions from outside a far West Side residence, but dumped their prey a few doors down, police said.
The owner of the two concrete lions told police he saw them in their appropriate spots in the driveway of his Sierra Highlands Drive home about 10 p.m. Friday. But less than 24 hours later, police said, he discovered the concrete cats were missing.
Police located the statues outside a house just down the street a short time after they were reported missing.
A woman residing at this address was cleared of suspicion in the thefts, police said. The woman told officers "she had never seen the lions before," police said. The owner of the lions planned on picking them up sometime Saturday.

This seems suspicious. The woman down the street had "never seen them before"? Believe me, if a neighbor had concrete lions in their driveway, I'd know about it. Of course, I'm picturing something akin to the lions at the Art Institute. I wonder if the cat shooter was involved in this crime at all, they should check for bullet holes. We also had another bizarre thievery that merited its own article.

Where in the world is purloined planet?
• Joliet school: Globe taken from statue

By Joe Hosey
staff writer
- JOLIET — He had the whole world in his hands — before callous crooks snatched it out and absconded with it.
Thieves made off with a 2-foot-in-diameter cold cast bronze globe from the statue of a boy holding it in front of Dirksen Junior High School.
A photographer who went to the school to take pictures of the sculpture, titled "Education is the Window to the World," discovered the globe missing from it Monday. Police presume it was stolen over the weekend.
Teri Lesnak of the Friends of Community Public Art, who created and maintains the city-owned sculpture, said the globe has no monetary value.
The art group, which has given numerous sculptures and murals to the city, has not seen any of its pieces suffer at the hands of vandals or thieves until this recent incident, Lesnak said.
Anyone with information on the crime or the globe's whereabouts is asked to call city police detectives at (815) 724-3020 or the Crime Stoppers hotline at (800) 323-6734. Crime Stoppers callers can remain anonymous and may be eligible for large cash rewards.
The sculpture was unveiled in November 2003. It depicted a bronze boy holding a globe through a window and is mounted on a pedestal that is covered with a ceramic mosaic.
Without the globe, the statue is nothing more than a window framing a boy with his empty hands in the air, as if waiting for a fly ball to descend.
Lesnak said she believes the theft might have been carried out as a prank, as the resin and bronze compound of which the globe consists is of negligible value.
Artists Kelly Gallaher and Sharka Glet had asked Dirksen students, parents and teachers to help create the concept for the sculpture, and a student, then eighth-grader Adam Umek, served as the lead model for the work.

I wish the picture of the statue sans globe was online, it's pretty amazing. I hope someone catches the thief so that poor statue boy won't be waiting forever for an undescended fly ball.

In other news, there's going to be a
Donkey Basketball game at Plainfield South tomorrow night. I am unable to attend, but if anyone else does, let me know. In recent social news, I had quite an amusing night in Schaumburg a week ago Saturday that I think I'm saving for the column, which may be starting very soon. Other than that I didn't do much that weekend except for watching Family Guy and the world's worst reality show, The Villa, at Shannon and Joe's. The Villa is basically Temptation Island with British accents, British teeth, and British men mooning the camera.

I went to Jameson's this Thursday for the first time in a while, and it was surprisingly quite crowded. I forgot to mention this a few weeks ago, but Jameson's now has some booths. I didn't sit in said booths, but it's good to know. I do have a small complaint: I don't think music needs to be blasted unless it's rock or hip hop. For some reason earlier on in the evening the DJ was blasting Goo Goo Dolls. I like Johnny Rzeznik and all, but it's just not maximum volume music. I don't tend to blast the Mix. Also notable from the evening: when you're being hit on by geriatrics, sometimes singing along to "Don't Stop Believin'" loudly can help thwart any woo pitching.

Friday night Shannon, Joe, Court and I went to go see "Waiting." Surprisingly, it was at Movies 10. I was somewhat confused when a guy who was a year younger than me in high school carded me for the movie, but oh well. When ordering my medium Cherry Coke, I noticed another oddity on the counter: bags for dill pickles that said "Chilly Dilly" on them. Creepy. The movie was pretty good, not of the highest caliber but still pretty quotable, despite an incredibly nasty sight gag during which I actually had to cover my eyes. Ryan Reynolds did a good job of continuing to play Van Wilder, just under a different name. That's a skill I can appreciate, considering that Sean William Scott lost his Stifler abilities in the last American Pie movie. The movie: 2, 2 1/2 stars. We also got a preview for a movie where Usher plays a bodyguard for the daughter of a mafia boss that looked pretty awful, which means I of course will be seeing it. After the movie, we went by Cemeno's briefly, then went to McBrody's, where we chatted with some older Catholic High alums about various topics including the nacho machine theft, Kairos, and Hillary Duff's giant teeth. I also got to see the picture of Adrianne Curry and Chris Knight with the owners of McBrody's, I'm still sad I was in Florida during that blessed event. Saturday a bunch of us went up to Kelly's family's house in New Buffalo, MI for Brian's birthday. It was a great time, we ate, played bags, and had a bonfire. I actually got a bag in for once so it was a big day for me. That's about all the news I have for now, adios!

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