Friday, October 28, 2005

Painting the Town Schaumburg

Here's the latest column. Again, I liked the headline. For some reason I can't get the accompanying picture to post right now but I'll try again later.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

It was a Friday!!

So I got "Open Lined" today! Here's the quote:

I don't really see anything fascinating or impressive about a bunch of young kids bar-hopping on a Thursday night out of town. I was wondering, don't these kids have to go to work the next morning?

Some notes:
1. Where'd they get that it happened on a Thursday? The article in the paper didn't say what night it happened and the online version, which I think is from one of my earlier drafts, states, "On a recent Friday night we decided to take a break from the J-town scene and check out other venues."

2. I don't see anything "fascinating" or "impressive" about it either, but it is a funny story.

3. Sadly enough, though I may look youthful, I am no longer a "young kid."

I don't mean to get defensive, but I'm very excited to be the target of an Open Line complaint and feel the need to share my view.

Monday, October 24, 2005

Have you seen this (wo)man?

Ok, here's the police sketch from a couple weeks ago of Billie Limacher's mugger. Everyone should apparently be on the lookout for an earless Cro-Magnon.

In other H-N news, I think the first picture on the special high school football section is going to cause some Open Line drama. Just a prediction.

Recent social outings. . .Friday night Wendy, Megan, Court and I went to Jameson's, and I will refer to it as the "Thursday that turned into a Friday." I've never seen Jameson's that packed on a Friday, it was like a Thursday night crowd, only one night later and with a lot of randoms. I thought this night could be column worthy, but my camera wasn't cooperating and I decided that this night was better for the website since most of the humor came from mocking people. First point of amusement: the dancefloor. There were a ton of people dancing, and the majority of them, oddly enough, were guys. One glance at the dance floor might lead some to believe that we were at Spin rather than Jameson's. There was basically a big group of guys, and a couple chicks that danced on them at certain times. One of the most amusing dancers was an acquaintance who seemed to take "back that ass up" quite literally. Shannon and Joe's dog, Abby, is what we call a "butt presenter," meaning that she usually approaches you with her butt and scoots back into you, and this guy seemed to have a similar trait. Other amusing lads included a guy with a mock turtleneck. As you know, mock is a command and I made up an impromptu version of "Breakfast at Tiffany's" to accompany the mock. The lyrics: "And I said, 'What about mocking that that turtleneck?' He said,'I think I remember that shirt, and as I recall, I think, we both kind of mocked it,' and I said, 'Well that's the one thing we mock." The music was also pretty hilarious: they played a 5 minute Britney Spears megamix that may not have gotten the crowd going, but certainly entertained me, as I had almost forgotten about such classics as "Lucky." During one bathroom trip, I saw someone's discarded thong, and during another, a girl who apparently had been called a bitch by the girl who opened the bathroom door for her gave a long rant about how unnecessary that was, only to stop in the middle to compliment another girl's top, who said she got it at "The Wet Seal." I can't properly capture how hilarious it was in writing. Finally, my favorite bar patron was this guy who looked remarkably like Jason, the antique car enthusiast from Laguna Beach, except that, as Wendy said his beard looked like magnetic Wooly Willy shavings. It was a good night.

Saturday evening Melanie won a free party at Zentra downtown, so a bunch of us went. It was a fun night, nothing too crazy to report but I must recommend the free parties there. No cover, free drinks from 9-10, a bottle of champagne, and a reserved booth. The booth probably isn't too necessary since it wasn't that crowded, but it's nice to go to the city and not spend money. In other Melanie news, she was quoted in Sunday's article about the Slovenian Grape Fest. Said Melanie: "I attend because my heritage is important to me," she said. Then she added: "And for the smokies, of course." Props to Mel for getting the smokies mentioned in the H-N. That's all I have for now, but if you ever watch "Lost," check out this link, it's hilarious. Adios!

Smell of Wine and Cheap Perfume

As most of you know, my favorite band is Journey. My favorite song of all time is "Don't Stop Believin'." However, I am a Cubs fan, but I have chosen to root for the Sox right now because of their theme song is the aforementioned classic song. Note: the song is also my ringtone, but I picked that way before any of the baseball shenanigans. Anyway, check out this hilarious tribute to Journey.

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