Friday, October 21, 2005

Guess I'm "Painting the Town" Cheez-It Orange This Week

So the first edition of "Emily Paints the Town" was in the paper this week. Here's a link to the column, unfortunately photo free. Whoever came up with this week's title is AWESOME, and I'd give you Kudos if I knew who you were and if I had any. I was very dismayed to see that the print version has an error of the "its/it's" kind in the last paragraph, as I work hard against those types of errors, being a future teacher of American and all, but for some reason it's different in the online version so I'm hoping it wasn't my grammar error originally. Otherwise Shannon might kill me. Since there are no photos online, I've included the picture that accompanied the column in this post. I'd add in my logo, but I don't know how to put PDF files on this page. Have a lovely weekend!

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Page D7!!!

Update: I forgot to note the incredible SWOLLEY that the rat guy is wearing. Thanks Fivetone!
And it starts. . .once you finish reading about prostate cancer and Lynne, Mary, and Natalie's opinions on handshakes, check out page D7 of the H-N, which has an ad for my new column. Though the Photoshopping kind of makes me look like I have no butt, I'm pretty happy with it. The first column will be in tomorrow, I believe.

Speaking of the H-N, the front page picture freaked me out today, so I posted it with this entry. Hopefully this is legal, credit goes to John Patsch of the H-N. I'm not offended by much, but DEAD RATS on the cover of the paper is really kind of nasty. I really enjoyed "The Secret of Nimh" as a child and don't like to see rats suffering. Here's a link to the article. My favorite quote comes from a neighbor of the rat killer:

Neighbor Merle Widner said he saw one of Smith's little children chasing a rat on a recent afternoon.
"I don't think the kid knew what they were," Widner said. "I said, 'Hey, stay away from that rat. If you get too close, it'll bite.'"

Ok, what else would the kid think they were? Gerbils? I'm hoping this picture will stir up some controversy similar to the "picture of the diagram of the female anatomy" controversy from a couple weeks ago. That was good stuff. Blotter has been lacking lately, so I'll check the Open Line:

In the "Didn't Write This, But I Wish I Had" category:

Laughing at complaints
God bless The Herald News for printing that picture of the human anatomy in the "Making the Grade" section, because without it I wouldn't be able to laugh at all the people who called in and complained about it. What is wrong with all of you people? My God.

Yet another winner on the controversy:

Picture offensive
Page 1 Section D, about "Making the grade." My God, you showed a picture of a human. How can you show a picture of a human in the paper? That's offensive. There should be no pictures of humans.

Note on this comment: I keep forgetting to scan in the "artist's rendering" of the would be mugger:

Cash carrier
I have two words for Billie Limacher and the Bicentennial Park: night deposit. There is no reason an 84-year old woman should be taking home $11,000 dollars in cash and not depositing it at the night deposit.

In recent adventures, I've been sick this week but I did have some fun last weekend. Wendy and I went to Jameson's on Thursday night, and I was glad to see that their bathroom is all snazzed up again, as a couple weeks ago they must have been in the middle of construction and were lacking a mirror and quite possibly soap. Adventure wise, we saw a lot of lookalikes: a dude that was a cross between deceased INXS lead singer Michael Hutchence and "Rock Star: INXS" runner-up Marty Casey, who we quickly named "Marty Hutchence", another dude that bore quite the resemblance to INXS member Andrew Farriss (the kind of fuzzy looking guy), and a guy who looked like a cross between Sayid and Hurley on "Lost" (Huryid? Sayley?) Anyway, "Lost" dude was dancing up a storm on the dance floor, much to the entertainment of Wendy, myself and a guy who, according to his baseball jersey, is known as "The Sarge." The music at Jameson's was. . .interesting. I'm wondering if they're trying to skew older and send the younger folk to Sapphire, as they were playing "Twist and Shout" during one point of the evening. It's a Thursday night, not a wedding! Then again, we did encounter some fellow JCA alums who were dressed up in suits, but apparently that was for a USF alumni banquet.

Friday night was also enjoyable. We had dinner at Maurie's Table, during which I checked out the infamous Adrianne Curry booth (by the way, this week's episode was disappointing), then headed out to Roadhouse, where nothing too wacky occurred. Saturday night I went out with some school friends in Naperville. We went to Two Nine again, which I liked better this trip than the last, but nothing much to report there. I'll be back tomorrow, most likely, with a link to my first column. Adios!

Subscribe to
Whiskey Tango: Tales From J-Town!