Please Don't Eat the Daisies

Ok, one of the best Open Lines ever was in this weekend:

Flower-eater
This is to the man I keep finding in my flower bed eating my flowers. Please go eat someone else's flowers. My flowers never did anything to you.Joliet

Whoa. Just. . .whoa. Did Goat Boy move to town? This one was also good:

Royal flush
I agree about the problem with the drought and people flushing their toilets. But you see the problem here in Shorewood is that the water is so expensive, the only people who can afford to flush their toilets are the rich. In that case it's considered the royal flush.Shorewood

Again with the toilet flushing! Shorewood must be pretty stinky if only the rich people are flushing their toilets. And in the blotter. . .

Egg-throwing mischief
JOLIET — A vigilant Jewel cashier alerted the law to Gothic vandals intent on wreaking havoc on the West Side, but was too late to thwart their mischief, police said.
The cashier at the 1537 N. Larkin Ave. supermarket flagged down a patrol officer about 1 a.m. Thursday and told of a pair of teens and their suspicious behavior, police said.
A young man and woman, both white, about 19 and "dressed in all black Gothic clothes, bought 3-4 dozen eggs apiece" from the Jewel, according to a police report.
The officer checked the nearby Warwick subdivision, where he found empty egg cartons and cars marred with raw egg. He found the aftermath of similar mayhem in Mayfair subdivision, police said.
The black-clad, egg-throwing pair remains at large.

I want to start a band called Gothic Vandals. I assume this issue remains a "hot topic."

Disagreement leads to violence
JOLIET — An argument over the quality of workmanship performed at a West Side auto body shop erupted into violence when one worker clubbed another with a pipe Tuesday, police said.
The man struck with the metal pipe may have suffered a broken arm in the noon attack at Greg's Body Shop on Oak Leaf Street, police said.
"The incident centers around (the two employees) working on a vehicle," police said. "Words were exchanged in reference to the quality of work resulting in a physical altercation."
The pipe-wielding employee reportedly is a 5-foot-2, 160-pound, 23-year-old Hispanic man named "Tony." He was last seen wearing a white T-shirt and blue jeans.

"Tony," eh? As usual, why the quotes? Is it an alias?

So Heroes is now rumored to be near the racetrack or taking over the old Dominick's. I think the Dominick's theory is hilarious. That place is huge! If people refer to Heroes as a meat market now, just imagine what will happen when it's located at an actual meat market. I'm thinking they could turn the deli counter into the bar.

In social news, Wendy and I went out for a bit on Thursday. We started at Jameson's, which was entertaining as usual and on its way to becoming my favorite local bar. Nothing too amusing happened that I recall, except that Wendy was sitting in front of the little door that bartenders use to get behind the bar, so we kept having to move. Patio update: people were on the patio. After Jameson's, we went to Heroes for a while, which was fun but still not the same as it used to be. We ran into Gnome Attic Joe and did our usual commentary. My personal favorite fashion faux pas was a guy who looked like he had stolen the sleeves of his shirt from Ernie from Sesame Street. They also had some kind of raffle going on where you could win various VIP packages. I couldn't figure out if they meant VIP at a bar or the VIP Salon & Spa.

On Friday evening, Courtney and I went to the Jackhammers game. Note: I have whole lot of pictures to put up on this page, but unfortunately they're going to have to wait till next week. Anyway, the game was hilarious. It was "Prison City Choppers" night and many lovely t-shirts were available, with sayings like "Not Guilty" and "Only God Can Judge Me." It was also some kind of JTHS reunion night going on, which would explain the person walking around dressed as a Steelman. I, of course, did not understand this till later and was excited to have my picture taken with a robot. New to the stadium this year: awesome grilled hot dogs (well worth the wait and much better than the "Jack's Snacks" dogs) and a "Bean Encounter" coffee trailer. I had a very good caramel apple cider from the "Bean Encounter," and their other products got rave reviews, but I hope they fix the drip coming from their trailer. In "people dressed up in suits" news, Jammer was thrusting as usual, and had among his props a Razor Scooter and Silly String. He also grinded on a person dressed as a hot dog. However, he did not attempt to grind on the person dressed as an egg. In actual baseball news, I found out that Wendy's has a strikeout board at the games. When the other team gets ten strikeouts, everyone at the stadium gets a free Frosty. I was not aware of this, and I also wasn't aware that the symbol for a strikeout is a "K," so you can imagine my horror when 3 strikeouts were posted on the board. It didn't look good. The Jackhammers didn't win, but as always, an entertaining time was had.

Did a little shopping during the day on Saturday and encountered something very disturbing inside the mall outside Field's by Lenscrafters: three giant trampolines with harnesses. How bizarre, how bizarre. Saturday evening I went to Lockport with Courtney, Rob, Nancy, and Aaron to go to Canal Days. Corn dogs were aplenty, and the mustard bottle seemed a bit finicky, but I did not partake. I'm getting to the point where I wonder if I should try a corn dog just to make sure I hate them, but I don't know if I can do it. We hung out in the beer tent for a while, where we saw a random band that played both CCR and Matchbox 20, and took a walk in downtown Lockport (is there an uptown? I'm not there very often), where we saw some really cute Yorkies in the window of a photography studio. A random man walking by asked, "How much is that doggie in the window," to which Courtney replied, "The one with the waggily tail?" Well played, Court. Afterward we went to George's, the diner at Strike N' Spare, where I enjoyed some mouthwatering quesadillas and Aaron, not prepared for the fame that having flaming cheese at the table would bring him, asked the waitress to flame his saganaki in the back. I also recommend the cream of potato soup.

Last night we went to see Oasis at the UIC Pavilion. It was a really interesting concert experience because almost everyone at the concert was around our age. I'm used to a bigger age range, but I think Oasis pretty much appealed to people who were teenagers in the mid to late '90's. As usual, I ran into Joliet people, and appropriately, they were old friends from high school that I hadn't seen in years. Also odd: there was no alcohol available at the venue. I wasn't necessarily planning to get a drink, but being at a concert where there are no crazy drunk people is a surreal experience. They did have some awesome smoothies though. The seats Shannon, Joe and I had were located in a balcony section that smelled like a group of Newfoundlands had run through it after a downpour. It got to the point where I was actually pleased to smell someone smoking pot as the scent took away from "Eau de Wet Dog." Courtney and Rob were on the main floor and reported that though it was quite cramped, everyone used their deodorant. The crowd at the concert was also the least ethnically diverse crowd I'd ever seen; from where we were in the balcony, I could see what looked like thousands of people doing the white man's overbite. Oasis had two opening bands. We originally thought there was only one opening band, Jet, and wondered why they weren't playing "Cold Hard Bitch" or any of their other songs. However, we found out that the first band was some random British band (I still don't know who they were) and Jet came out afterward. Jet was really good, and Oasis was AWESOME, probably one of my favorite concerts. Since they're kind of bitchy, I didn't think they'd play a lot of their old songs, but they played all my favorites, "Champagne Supernova," "Wonderwall," "Live Forever," "Don't Look Back in Anger," etc. It was a great show.

I probably won't be updating until next week because I'm heading to Hilton Head for a wedding for the rest of the week. Have a lovely rest of the week and expect pictures (I promise!) next week