Friday, June 27, 2003

A Note to Subscribers

The subscription doohicky isn't working for some reason, but I'll check it out soon. For now I'll just email all subscribers whenever I update.

Thursday, June 26, 2003

Welcome Back Blotter

Bad Boys, Bad Boys, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when someone you know is in the Police Blotter? I found out from the Herald News Police Blotter the other day that my childhood neighborhood buddy was arrested (see the item about a "Shorewood man", for some reason I feel bad putting his name on the site) for possession of ecstasy, a handgun, and cocaine with intent to deliver. Six years ago he was also arrested for drug possession and maltreatment of a snake (apparently he was not in the proper climate). I have the clipping of that article somewhere, I'll post it if I remember. The ironic thing about the whole situation is that when we were little, Neighborhood Buddy and I once took a can of powdered Kool-Aid Mix and sold the powder to various neighborhood residents. Sixteen years later, he's arrested for intent to deliver a different kind of powder. Luckily I still like Kool-Aid, who can resist the Kool-Aid Man? Speaking of the good old days in my neighborhood, I realize now that for some reason wayward children would randomly show up at our house. Exhibit one: a little boy once danced his way into our backyard. . .and Venus was his nay-ame (actually it was Vincent, but we thought it was Venus for some reason; his family room was viewable from our family room, and a favorite game that we used to play when we were bored was "What's Venus Watching?" in which we would try to change the channels on our TV to whatever "Venus" was watching). This was the same day that the aforementioned Neighborhood Buddy's identical twin little sisters (Exhibit two) escaped from their home and showed up on the top of our van. And, finally, exhibit three, a previously unknown little girl showed up at our house, unsure of where she came from. We first thought her name was Mary Anne Pumpkin Poo, later amended to Mary Ann Ponthenpoom (I don't think that was her real name either). Somehow we returned "Pumpkin Poo" to her rightful owners, and a couple years later we ran into Mary Anne and her mom at Service Merchandise. They informed us that they were moving to Pekin, and Mary Anne promised (threatened?) to ride her Big Wheel back to Joliet from Pekin to visit us. Unsurprisingly, the Big Wheel has never shown up at our house.

Also in this week's Blotter. . . an incident involved the return visit of a peeping Tom (rest assured, not the Nightcrawler) to a Joliet woman. The highlights:

The 25-year-old woman told police she spotted the man with his face up against a window to her Mississippi Avenue apartment just after midnight Monday.
She then spoke with the man, who asked her about "Dude" upstairs, police said. The man then began to walk upstairs to the apartment of the woman's brother.

"Dude?" Apparently Mr. Peepers must have a great relationship with this woman's brother. And finally, one more Blotter entry:

Meneleo Manoza, 34, of 1290 Santa Fe Drive, was arrested at 5:31 p.m. June 12 in the 500 block of Fairmeadows Drive. He was charged with public indecency, disorderly conduct and criminal trespassing of property. Lt. Bill Denny, of the Romeoville Police Department, said the man was found naked in a hot tub at an apartment complex. He was released on bond.

I'm hoping they get that hot tub checked out for Brsaniotes before it's open to public use again. Melanie, make sure that you have good security on your hot tub, you never know who might pop up.

In other weekday news. . .we went to Shogun in Aurora last night for Joe's birthday, a Benihana type place where they cook the food at the table. Our chef chopped a lot of vegetables, but unfortunately he wasn't "choppin' Broccoli." He did a lot of fun tricks with his knifes, and accented each move with a "Cha Cha Cha!" I was having a hard time trying to contain myself because all I could think about are those commercials for that new show on Fox, "Banzai!" I have a feeling that show is going to be awesome, especially who can fetch a stick faster, a dog or Willis from Different Strokes. Todd Bridges, how can you subject yourself to such treatment?

The only other odd thing that happened to me this week was during a trip to the mall on Tuesday. I've decided some day I really need to do an indepth analysis of the Louis Joliet Mall on this website (slogan: All This Crap and Stilll No Gap), but we'll save that for a rainy day. Anyway, I was at Wet Seal (aka Wet Walrus), and I'm convinced I saw a guy trying on the flashiest of Wet Seal's gear. I could have been wrong and it may have just been a very boyish female, but dude (perhaps "Dude upstairs") looked like a dude. I didn't want to look too closely, I thought staring might be inappropriate and the Wet Seal employees didn't appear too fazed. I kind of wish I had checked out the situation a bit more closely, but perhaps the Mystery Man will be trying on more newsboy hats and shiny halters the next time I stop by. I'll update tomorrow with the stories of our Thursday night. The Jackhammers are away tonight, so entertainment will most likely come from less athletic sources. Oh and in a side note, I heard the funniest toast ever last night from Bug-Eyed Toni on Paradise Hotel: "Champagne for my real friends, and real pain for my sham friends!" I really don't know of an appropriate occasion to use this toast ,but I'll try to think of one. Adios!

Monday, June 23, 2003

I Got the Magic Stick

Sorry everyone, I'm addicted to 50 Cent (or as Ja Rule calls him, "Loose Change"). I considered purchasing his CD at Barnes and Noble in Naperville yesterday but did not due to two reasons: a. it cost $18.99. b. "Magic Stick" isn't on it. I think I'll have to make my own Best of 50 Cent or, for ultimate fun, Best of 50 Cent & Journey.

A new restaurant opened on Gael & Ingalls, Pastore's Grill, that apparently offers discounts to among others, people with tattoos. Our resident restaurant reviewer Melanie noticed this hot spot, and if she samples their cuisine, I'll put up a review soon.

Thursday night was Heroes as usual. It was insanely packed with people, and you were lucky to see the same person more than once in the evening. The evening's celebrity lookalikes included Meat Loaf and Pamela Anderson (at least, Meat Loaf thought a fellow bargoer looked like Pamela Anderson). I was asked by a random guy if my necklace was from Tiffany, and when I said no (forgetting to add that I had seen Tiffany in concert), he told me that I should find a man that would buy me jewelry from Tiffany. A belligerent drunk at the bar called Melanie "extravagant," is that a new pick up line? The Jackhammers were back in action, but seemed a little more subdued this week, so besides an odd fascination with my pants pockets by one baller, there wasn't anything too amusing.
Saturday Melanie, Megan, Courtney and I headed to Lockport for their Canal Days festival. We walked through the carnival (where I nearly gagged at the smell of my archnemesis: the Corn Dog), but couldn't seem to find our way to the beer garden and food area. Eventually some kind bikers in front of Dreams, showed us the way, although when we first asked where the Beer Garden was, he showed us the beer bottles inside his jacket. On the way to the beer garden, we passed the Lockport Moose Lodge, outside of which we saw a man with a very impressive handlebar mustache. Note: none of the ones on this page really resemble the Lockport guy, his was thinner and had more curlicues, but please PLEASEcheck out Tom Clark on the U.K. members page, I nearly wet my pants. We traipsed over to the rest of the fest, got ice cream and lemon shakeups, and did a little people watching before we decided to head back to Joliet.

When we got back to Joliet, Melanie, Courtney and I headed to Barnes & Noble to see the obsessed Harry Potter fans. Now, I cannot deny that I love Harry Potter; my copy arrived Saturday morning and I finished it last night, but I just can't kick it with the obsessed fans: I don't wear capes or need to be the first person in line at midnight to receive a copy. The parking lot was so crowded that we had to park at the nearby La-Z Boy, where ironically, a not so lazy couple appeared to be hooking up in a Red Neon. It was quite the freak show at B&N, and after a confusing entry, in which a woman with (I think) a fake British accent told me I wouldn't be able to "see Harry," we headed to the magazine section to catch up on our US Weekly and People reading and watch the crazy people. It was hard to find a spot on the floor where there wasn't a bespectacled 8 year old underfoot, but we eventually found a spot and settled down, flipping through magazines and reading the amusing "Who Would You Do" book aloud. Luckily none of the HP fans overheard. We checked out the back of the store and got our picture taken with a cardboard Harry Potter (see crazy employee, I did get to meet Harry!), and Joe joined us just before midnight for the Harry Potter countdown. After we yelled Happy New Year and checked a nearby computer to make sure there wasn't an H2K breakdown, we decided to head to the Truck Stop for potato mountains. However, Courtney had the line of the night; after seeing a little Harry Potter clone holding a wand, she said, "He's got the magic stick!"

Saturday night was the Jackhammers game, then Down From the Tracks and Grapevine, but I honestly can't remember anything particularly entertaining and/or trashy, except that Melanie saw a couple getting it on on the balcony of the Town-House Motel by Joe's Hot Dogs. Girls, fill me in if I'm forgetting anything else.

Sunday I went to a trip to Naperville with Courtney and Rob. We went paddleboating and marveled at all the dead fish (and a forgotten box of White Cheddar Cheez-Its) and saw some entertaining people throughout Naperville, including a man with long, flowing white hair that drew many a turned head, and some cast members from Deliverance. The new ice cream place Coldstone Creamery must be the ice cream version of Samy's, as standing in line for ten minutes there accomplished little movement. Apparently there's another one of these places in Plainfield in an unknown location, let me know if you find out where it is. We decided to head to Cookie Dough Creations instead, where a moment of terror occurred when a little kid got his finger caught in the door. The bloodcurdling screams made for quite a tense time, but he seemed ok by the time we left. Another ice cream question: what's with Superman Ice Cream? Isn't it just multicolored vanilla? Much like green ketchup and blue Hawaiian Punch, what's the point? If you know, fill me in.

That's about it for the weekend, but I did a little Whiskey Tango search on Yahoo the other day and found out that the term whiskey tango has a listing in the Urban Dictionary: "An abstract spoken method to point out the presence of white trash to friends while still remaining unoffensive. Based on the NATO code for the letters W and T." I also found song lyrics for "Whiskey Tango Gurl" by "Orange County's Original Cowpunk Band," the Havenots. They also have an MP3, but unfortunately the sound quality is messed up; from what I heard, I would describe them as Blink 182 meets Alabama. The lyrics are quite suitable to the Whiskey Tango ideal; my favorite line is "You look so good with your short shorts full of holes."

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